Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Congressional Speaker Of House Deadlock Solved

We have breaking news. There may be a new breakthrough in the ongoing paralysis in the U.S. House of Representatives, as a divided Republican caucus continues to struggle to find a consensus candidate to serve as House Speaker, due to the divide between so-called moderate Republicans and the more radical Freedom Caucus. Just moments ago, interim speaker Patrick McHenry announced that House Republicans have found a new compromise candidate who may be able to bridge the divide, and win over some Democratic votes to boot. The new candidate? A new artificial intelligence app, called ChatGOP!

Developed by the makers of ChatGTP, ChatGOP will rely on a sophisticated algorithm that will analyze all of the campaign contributors and levels of contribution for all members of Congress, and their political agendas, as well as the political agendas of all lobbyists who have held meetings with members of Congress over the past 24 months. It will then develop policy proposals and even draft bills carefully calculated to win majority support, based on those agendas, and dole out committee assignments and chairmanships calculated to efficiently move those bills to a vote. ChatGOPs developers claim that this program will streamline the legislative process and make legislating in the interests of America’s leading financial and business corporations much more efficient. Instead of gridlock, it will keep our federal government in an even tighter headlock on behalf of America’s most powerful plutocrats. A vote to approve ChatBOP as the nation’s 119th Speaker of the House is expected to take place by mid-week.

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