Trump was going to give nuclear secrets to the country that already has hypersonic missiles and silent submarines.
Because, see, the president gets nuclear bomb diagrams in his daily briefing, so Trump put them in Melania's underwear drawer so that someday he could hand them over to Russia.
Luckily our crack teams of ace FBI agents were on it! It only took them 20 months to break into Trump's mansion, crack his safe and riffle through Melania's unmentionables.
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